BDSM Forum

Pet Cathy

Hello everybody!
I have recently found myself as a sub.. First when I was 15, I found myself as a lesbian, didnt fully accept myself for that before I was 18-19.. Now I am soon 23, and have found and acceptet myself as a sub.

The toughts have always been there somewhat. The fantasies of beeing tied and controlled. But just that, fantasies and crushes on dominant teachers.. :)

Then one night on pure impulse, I found myself entering a roleplay online game for adults. didnt spend much time that first night, but went back in the second one. And stumbeled into a room in the game, where 3 girls were having fun playing. Then I met her, Mistress. It is a internet relationship, but I now feel more complete. It's like a missing piece have been found in a puzzle that is me.

It is wonderful and scary. We first just hang out together and played in the game, but it didnt take long before we went on messenger to. And now were entering the voice calls. I have given myself to her as a pet, and she is my Mistress. Even tough this is "just online" that some might think, it feels very real. And I do as she tells me to, and I do tell her if I have been bad and disobeyed. Not because I want to dissapoint her, but if I werent telling her, the times I am bad, I would cheat her. And wouldnt want to cheat Mistress, it would be cheating on my self to.

I have given her as much control as I can of my life, due to there is things in life you have to control youre self. One thing that is in here hands totally is my sex life, with others or by masturbation. I am not to tuch myself, unless she orders me to. Wich makes me totally hot, and wandering around in my life on my end of the globe all horned out, thinking of her all the time, longing like a dirty little hungry pet.
This she knows, and enjoys.. so sometimes when we have a play session, she doesnt order me to do anything on my end, other than hands on the keys, and when not on the keys, locked together to keep them from wandering. She enjoys to "torture" me like this for a couple of days, knowing that when she finally orders me to touch myself, she know I will cum almost imidatly, on her command.

We have now started to look into selfbondage, so that she could have even more control of me, knowing that it would be impossible for me to do anything to myself, as she keeps getting me all worked up.

I have a few questions tough, that I hope some of you could help me with? :)

well first thing.. am I crazy? Here the other day, I manage to fall asleep on Mistress, not letting her know first. I am allowed to sleep by all means, but I am to tell her that I am gonna fall asleep. well I just totally blackd out in front of my keys, leaving her totally afk. didnt wake up until after 8 hours later.. *wery ashamed for that*.. she gave me a punishment, I needed to do something really boring in the game we are in, and it aint just boring it takes long time to do to... And I werent allowed to talk to her before the task was finishd, unless I needed to go afk, then I was allowed to let her know that. Heres the kicker tough.. I felt really ashamed for what had happend, and started to crie, and when Mistress told me how much she loved me regardless of the harsh punishment, I got tossed over in a even harder crie. The shame grew stronger, and the pain inside was almost intorrebale, because I had let her down, and hearing her loving me just as much. and as the selftormenting pet I am, I didnt tell her of my outburst until later that evening when the task was done, didnt feel that I deserved her getting comforting with me when I have failed. So I spent a whole day in great pain and in tears.
Is this normal when a domme tells you she loves you?

and another question, does anyone of you have any tips about selfbondage in a safe matter?
Both Mistress and me wants me to be tied, but Mistress wants to be sure that I would be able to get free if needed, for safety.

Thanks :)

aaronsorkin2 · Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:15 pm Post subject:

nice stuff